In natural colour

Frequency Modulation for radio broadcasting had been delayed by the onset of World War Two; since all manufacturers were fully committed to the U.S. military, there were no civilian radio sets available.

Shortly before the end of hostilities, radio brands start advertising the new technology and this contrived ad sums it up.

"Carmen Miranda's voice in natural color..." - confusing? you bet!

"Carmen Miranda", 1945
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Portable communicator

Motorola these days is associated with cellular phones and funky tablets; but they have a long history at building gadgets: they invented car radios in the 1930's and they also invented the earliest personal communication devices: the hand-held "Handie-Talkie", during World War 2.

Heavy and clumsy looking, but this makes for a really exciting collectable.

"Handie talkie", 1945
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The shadow touch

It doesn't exactly say what the shadow touch might be, other than a marketing ploy, but it's thanks to advertisements like this one that we know what the past was like.

Almost terrifying!

"Shadow touch", 1956
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Only men need apply

This recruitment ad is both chauvinistic and borderline camp, even though it encourages readers to join the Army to feel like real men.

"Feel like a man", 1963
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Be a patriot

Another Cold War example of how to stir those patriotic feelings: see what the bad guys are doing, and then come and see us try to do it better.

"Russian Expo", 1967
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Be sociable

Once upon a time, cola drinks were respectable drinks for adults -this was way before the obesity epidemic started in America.

The message is that it's fine for "hipsters" to drink Pepsi. Be one of them.

"The Sociables", 1960
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First in the Service

Using war to sell your products has worked very well for tobacco products.

Very politically incorrect in this day and age, but cigarettes were issued by governments all around the world in the daily combat rations for soldiers up until the early 1960's.

"Walk a mile", 1944
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Afro chart

Back in the early 1970's, the "afro" hairstyle was all the rage for trendy African-American males, proudly displaying was they thought was their own cultural heritage.

Choose your own stlye with this lovely wall chart.

"Afro chart", 1972
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Short? Just lie

"A girl likes to look UP to her man..." - what a load of rubbish.

The solution for men of short stature. Lie about it and get some "Elevator Shoes".

"Elevators", 1964
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Homer Simpson is not amused

The greaseless Bobby Brown is a triangular sugary treat, cooked in an electric appliance using moulds.

It costs less to make and sells four times as fast than old-fashioned doughnuts. Easy to digest and toothsome. So the ad says.

But it ain't a doughnut. They've got the shape wrong. That's the reason after all these years, donuts are still round.

"Greaseless", 1931
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Female afflictions

A wonderful ad from the pre-"womens liberation" movement of the late '60s. The product is purported to relieve stomach acid discomfort ocurring from tension in everyday chores.

Women back then did things like "cleaning". Or "ironing". Very charming. No mention of "working in an office".

But including "punish" and "temper" has raised a few eyebrows around the editorial team - we leave you to guess the context of those ones.

"Magnesia", 1965
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Did you take a shower?

The claim that a deodorant "builds protection day after day" is pure fanciful advertising exaggeration. It only implies that the wearer of the deodorant does not shower very frequently.

Or if the wearer does sometimes shower, then certain parts of the body go without soap.

"Speed stick", 1968
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Don Draper is not amused

If you ever wanted to see Gengis Khan selling cigarettes, this is your day. This is one of the strangest advertisements I have ever seen.

What were they thinking?

"Fantastic Century", 1968
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Watch kit

1976. A digital watch was the epitome of cool and sophistication and Sinclair Radionics came along with the idea of selling them as a "do-it-yourself" kit. Way too cool.

The only problem is, the "Black Watch" was cheap, unreliable and very sensitive to static discharges. Altogether, a very forgettable piece of technology.

"The Black Watch", 1976
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Natural body brace

"Worth more than a farm" says a customer of this ancient-looking device.

Be warned that any medical breakthrough that "Replaces and supports misplaced internal organs", "brings pep" and "reduces enlarged abdomen" -all at at the same time- cannot be good for you.

"Body brace", 1917
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In color

Read carefully the copy in this ad from 1960 and ask yourself: "Who'd be so thick to order one of these?"

The ad talks about a screen that fits over you current black-and-white TV screen, and produces "...brilliant, eye-filling colors..."

And your friends will like it too - they'll get to make jokes about you and your "color TV".

"Thrilling color", 1960
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TV tennis

Thirty-five years ago, playing anything on your own TV set was all the rage, and legends were born.

We're talking about PONG, of course. Back then it was a revolutionary device, but as the following advertorial warns "...this is one of those novelties everyone will shortly get tired of..."

Yeah. Right. 35 years later, the video game industry is bigger than Hollywood, and one of those original little consoles is worth a small fortune.

I wish I had one.

"TV tennis", 1976
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Meat? Really?

If there was ever a sillier name for a trade organisation, the "America Meat Institute" -sponsor of this ad- takes the cake.

Also silly is the claim that luncheon meat is goodness in a can... 12 hearty, tasty ounces of it.

The reality is that packed meat is actually high in salt and cholesterol, it is manufactured from the unsaleable bits and bobs that nobody wants to eat, and is considered an emergency erzats for when you can't actually eat real meat.

"Meat", 1947
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Huge dog

The ad department in charge of this ad was not thinking clearly when they came up with the idea.

Considering the size of a real Scottish Terrier, the baseball bat must be three or four inches long. Which makes the kid a dwarf. Or at least a midget.

"Champion", 1950
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Wigs of the times

If you were not blessed with massive amounts of hair, the only solution for an afro hairstyle was by wearing a wig, like those for sale in this ad.

The one in the middle of the page with two projecting domes is particularly funny. People would stop you and call you "Mickey".

"A wig you can dig", 1972
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