New Year's resolution

Things were different in 1939. Back then, a New Year's resolution was to smoke a specific brand of cigarettes, not to quit smoking altogether.

"New Year's", 1939

Think of all those resolutions that would end up in your death!

Happy 2011 from the Mad Ad Men team, and we will see you next year.

X-Ray vision

Two ads for similar "inventions", in the same science magazine of 1965. Is the market for these things that big?

"Amazing X-Ray", 1965

The line art of the ads says a lot about the business and marketing ideals of the companies that sell them - the one above is a bit of an amusement, whilst the one below has got an ominous, perverted tone to it.

"X-Ray Specs", 1965

The most lifelike arm ever invented

Try inserting this ad in a modern magazine.

"Armless", 1924

You will be sued to death by everyone out there! But it does have a catchy heading, doesn't it?

Before air-con was invented...

There was the "Casco Windshield Fan" - with three genuine rubber blades, it was the perfect gift for the auto enthusiast.

Now, whether it is an effective ice remover, the ad does not say - it would have to run for hours to get the ice off the windshield on a winter's day. But the art is very cool.

Stretch out

How about gaining a few extra inches in height?

This medieval-looking gadget promises to "remake and rejuvenate" your body, improve your circulation, and give you a "normal spine".

And it's the "most important health invention of the century". Unbelievable!

"Your spine", 1917
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Come fly with me

Even in an era so careless and happy as The Roaring Twenties, you can't possible become an "Expert Aircraft Engineer" in a few months, studying from the comfort of your own house?

"Learn Aviation", 1925
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But the closing paragraph about "write for special offer on free airplane parts" has the nasty smell of a scam.

Almost subliminal

"Sleeping women of the free world, Uncle Sam needs your help". Or so it can be inferred from this clever piece -almost war propaganda- from an underwear manufacturer.

Even nighties can be patriotic -this ad is pointing out the benefit of a good sleep for improving efficiency in war work. And what better underwear for sleeping well? You guessed it.

The "Fighting Trims" - did nobody come up with a better name for this? Ouch.

"Keep in trim", 1943
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Magnetic sharpener

This has to be near the top of the list of loonie claims of the Twentieth Century.

"Harnessing Magnetic Energy" to sharpen a knife -or a razor blade like in this ad- by re-aligning the steel molecules at the edge. This ad just ticks all the right boxes: big words, dubious claims, a quasi-magical product with no competition and the promise of lots and lots of money.

"The most efficient shaving aid ever invented" seems to be just another direct sale scam. But the 1930's art is pretty sharp. Pun intended.

"Sharpen razor blades", 1931
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Washing isotopes

More atomic madness in the 1950's.

Take a load of clothes, get them dirty with radioactive isotopes, use some washing machines to get the dirt out and test with a Geiger counter.

"Our washing machines remove radioactivity better than your washing machines".

"Atomic laundry", 1954
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Blackface comedy

A minstrel show is an American form of entertainment where black people are portrayed in a way that is comical to a white audience. Truly racist entertainment.

Remember the black people in "Uncle Tom's Cabin" or "Tom Sawyer"? That's some of the stereotypes: funny and incompetent black people.

The ad here gives you the chance to learn it and you even get your own black person makeup. If you did this today you'll end up in jail. Or shot. Or both.

"Minstrels", 1930
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Curative smoke

Tobacco smoking and war are a marriage made in heaven.

This ad announces that smoking is at an all time high -which seems very likely in the war-time economy of 1943.

But the red text with the wording "And you are safer smoking..." is totally misleading. Major weasel-wording here. Even with the disclaimer at the bottom, the casual reader thinks this is actually good for you.

"Smoking more", 1943
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Cooking with gas

A disruptive technology is an invention that turns the accepted standards into obsolescent memories. Usually in a very short time.

In the example at hand, we're talking about kerosene.

This ad sells conversion kits for stoves, and the premise is the same as today -better, hotter, more even cooking and "even a child can do it". Kerosene gas is the way of the future.

Hard to resist the line that says "No wood to chop or carry" - for a household in the 1920's, this kit must have been a revelation in simplicity.

"Burn gas", 1924
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Are you sure this is safe (4)

Any tan lamp that claims to be 4 times as powerful as the summer sun is not good for you.

This model works with a carbon-arc, which discharges a very high level of ultraviolet light -a malignant melanoma (skin cancer) would be one of the after-effects of indulging in this healthy machine.

The photo of the guy "sunbathing" with dark goggles says it all.

Dangerous stuff.

"Health tan", 1938
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The Detec-to-cell

The art in this ad is fantastic -the images of the policeman with the gun and the car yelling for help make you want to buy this product.

It's an ad for selling the Robot Detec-to-cell- and the claims of the device are the usual barrage of hyperbole - but a sentence like "...stands constant and faithful guard..." deserves a special mention for creativity.

"Electric cell", 1931
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Glamorous Foodarama

More 50's extravaganza and excessive consumption. The Foodarama refrigerator.

"Foodarama", 1956
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Only in prosperous post-war America you could find a behemoth fitted with a "freezer-wrap dispenser", a "breakfast bar " and a "banana rack" - truly, a glowing statement to the rising standards of living and the new status symbol of home appliances.

And, with the added value of a stereotypical 50's family using the fridge.

"Spaciousness", "glamorous", "beauty" and "magic" are all there to see - a perfect example of the work Mad Ad Men are paid to do.

Space artist needed

Another one selling "the knowledge" to get a plum job in the "High Pay Missile Industry". Drawing rockets and missiles, and other technical things.

The line art is just fantastic- legit pulp space madness. Think of The Jetsons. Guaranteed to get someone to send some money.

"Space artist", 1962
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For the entry price to get your booklet of secrets ($2 in 1962) you could buy six issues of the science magazine it was published in. Being a space-age artist is not cheap.

Operator number 38

This is one hard little devil of a mad ad. Have a look.

"Follow this man", 1931
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What does it actually sell?

Not a life of glamour as a James Bond apprentice in the 1930's. Not at all. That's what the weasel words in the ad make you believe.

It sells a "finger print operator methodology" or some other similar learn-by-mail scam. You pay for the informative report and then it's all downhill payments from there.

Are you sure this is safe? (3)

Let's start by pointing out that electricity and water are one of the worst possible combinations in the world of physics.

The principle of the Magic-like LUX ELECTRIC WATER HEATER seems practical in an era where hot-water plumbing was not common in older buildings.

But it does look kind of scary.

"Magic disc", 1931
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Would you go with one of these bad boys in a tub full of water?

Give her the best

Think of June and a June bride says this ad. Well, you'd never buy something like this for a bride in the 21st century, would you?

"And you give her the best", 1947
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"For the Great Day, think of a Hoover" What a thought. Of course, in the 1940's an electric floor cleaner was a most elegant and prized possesion.

Fabulous. Just think of the other poor brides that still have to clean the floor on all fours.

The warning signal

More clever and modern gadgets in our retro-future catalogue: the Reverse Warning Signal.

Clearly an invention before its time -back then in 1939, there was someone who thought about the danger of vehicles reversing on unsuspecting pedestrians. Surely such an useful gadget should have been of mandatory use many years ago.

But it wasn't until recently, and many people have been killed or maimed in the meantime.

"Warning signal", 1939
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Click, click, click

According to this ad in a well-know American music magazine, in the early sixties Australia is still a land of... sheep-rearing people.

"Click go the shears" is a traditional Australian folk song. Not surprisingly, it is about men shearing sheep. Surprisingly enough, someone used this concept to draw the reader's attention into the growth and popularity of American music in the Australian market.

Talk about stereotypes. And gotta love the photo of the factory -near Sydney- at the bottom of the piece.

"Click go the shears", 1963
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More uranium riches

Reading our stack of old magazines we learn that the uranium prospecting madness peaked around 1955 and died out over the next year. Maybe after hundreds of eager prospectors threw their money away and got nothing in return.

Like in many other boom and bust scenarios, word spreads quickly when things don't turn out as advertised.

Here's one advertisement promising riches on the uranium bonanza. Yeah, right.

"Find uranium", 1955
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And here's another one -located in the opposite page of the same magazine. At least this ad promises the reader a money saving kit.

"Uranium geiger kit", 1955
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Are you sure this is safe? (2)

Using the Government as endorsement does not guarantee the safety of your product.

Here's an example. Would you use this contraption for exploring and spearfishing ?

"Diving apparatus", 1955
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The ad ends with the words "completely safe". Sure. Provided the operator does not get tired of pumping.

Forgiving women

Old advertisements are an incredible tool for understanding the cultural norms and rules accepted by society.

Back in 1946, you could get away with an ad, in a nation-wide magazine, with the tagline:

"Forgive Her, she's only a woman."

The rest of the ad is just as "balanced" -women are portrayed as finicky fumbling creatures that can't be trusted.

From our perspective, it seems like the world before the sixties was not as fun or attractive. Sanforised or not.

"Forgive her", 1946
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Mind your posture

With thousands of remarkable cases, the Philo-Burt Appliance has healing properties that border on the miraculous.

Fifty thousand cases treated over twenty years -that's a mere seven cures a day. Helpless people, crippled by their "deformed spines" have seen themselves riding horseback or playing tennis, within a year.

The address of the firm, at "Odd Fellows Temple" is not that inspiring either.

"Deformities of the back", 1924
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Simple is better

Somehow the message of fun and simplicity is lost on the following piece.

The ad talks a lot about the "stainless steel trim", the "new appealing bowling colors" and there's even a mention about the "nylon rail guard". And it's easy to service too.

Only at the very end of the copy it says something about the user experience. "Six profit-proven games-in-one". Wtf?

But it does not say squat about them, either.

It's a coin-op amusement machine, for crying out loud. It's supposed to be fun. And simple.

"Strike ball", 1963
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They never wear out

Some ads have such outrageous art in them that you can't help but stare. Look at this piece. I mean, seriously, look at "Baldy the Slick".

Is that cool or what? A gigantic car tyre with a criminal past waiting to destroy your car and stop you in your tracks. It doesn't get any better than this.

Sadly, the copy is not up to such a high standard and it plays heavily on the statement that the tyres "never wear smooth" - whoa, are they made out of kryptonite or something?

"Public enemy", 1937
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Glowing in the wind

The fifties were full of images of supersonic, futuristic and atomic regalia. Among all the fads and other ephemeral interests - who would have thought that amateur uranium hunting was so popular in the 1950's in the good old U.S.A?

This piece with "transistorized uranium finders" and "government cash bonuses" says it all - you buy amateur equipment, you stumble upon a rich uranium ore field and then you cash in the government bonus - easy.

It does not say anything at all about the nasty stuff; the fruitless weeks of rambling around the country waving a Geiger detector, the radiation poisoning or the long-term risk of leukemia.

Here's your chance to shine. Literally speaking.

"Uranium hunters", 1955
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Enjoy music outdoors

Portable technology is nothing to rave about now, but in the early 20th Century it was cutting edge and big money.

You think iPod is cool music on the go? Wait until you meet the "Ozarka" from 1924- with a name that brings up images of summer days on a fishing trip in the back of beyond, this amazing portable radio set weighs only.... 10 pounds. 

Yes sire, 5 kilograms only. As batteries at that time were lead-acid (like car batteries) this is probably where the weight problem was. So if you wanted music on the go in 1924, you had to go to the gym first.

"Enjoy radio on vacation", 1924
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Drive safe in the rain

Meet Mr. Vacuum. He is transparent, always wears a hat, hip glasses and a suit with a flower in the lapel. The height of gentlemen's fashion in the 1950's.

He also works powering windshield wipers in your car. Wait a second- are this Mad Ad Men actually using an outline of an invisible man to promote the wonders of vacuum? Bizarre.

A less-well known relative of the Invisible Man is helping you drive safely in the rain. Remember that.

"Mister Vacuum", 1955
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Press here for mystery

There's an old popular saying about "...a fool and his money..." - these two ads in the same publication illustrate the point in question: they are variations on the long running scam of selling worthless junk by promoting the curiosity of the reader.

Exhibit number one: the "Amazing Mystery Button", which the ad bills as the most interesting electrical apparatus ever discovered. For one dollar.  Not only you can build a telephone and an amplifier but also a ... Detectiphone (?). Whatever that is.

"Amazing mystery button", 1945
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Exhibit number two: the "Wonder Electric Button", which the ad *also* sells as the most interesting electrical apparatus ever discovered. The rest of this ad is almost identical to the one above -including the use of the word Detectiphone.

Talk about copyright infringement. Or the same scammer running two different ads.

"Wonder electric button", 1945
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All your circuits belong to us

This ad could be called "the insane march of technology" - on a closer inspection, that is really what happens here.

On a previous ad from 1949, for the princely sum of $229.95 you could buy a 10-inch TV - now in 1954 you can become the proud owner of a 24-incher for the same money. Considering inflation, it's actually cheaper to buy a bigger TV.

The mechanics of the markets are the same -it's always cheaper to buy later in the cycle of adoption of a product, be it a black-and-white Admiral TV or a spankin' iPhone.

But the really important detail here is in the copy.

"AUTOMATION by Admiral", 1954
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The "Admiral precision circuits" and automated fabrication process is a distinctive selling point. This might be the first-ever advertisement of a printed-circuit product outside the military.

Awesome! Surely, a vision of things to come.

Laptop extravaganza

Nothing better than the convenience of your own private typewriter.

How the Executive guy is typing on his own without an efficient, underpaid  executive assistant to do it for him, is a mystery to me. And the Navy guy in front of the radar screen? How does he manage to get anything done?

"Lifetime partner", 1956
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This is the 1950's after all!

No more bald heads

More remedies for men worried about their thinning mane - and again this one uses a vacuum cap. Can't really tell from the ad if this is a nice latex-like swimming cap or a more rigid and uncomfortable contraption. Like a helmet.

But rejoice: the ad boldly states that this "is the only reasonable HAIR GROWER known to science". Wtf?

Total and absolute quackery in its purest form.

"No more bald heads", 1924
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A hair dryer with legs

Another fantastic piece of 1950's retrofuture gadgetry: the "mobile hair dryer".

It lets you walk, hear, talk and work. Amazing. You can even hear baby cry, whilst using it to dry your hair.

In ivory or pink, this is the first truly whisper quiet hair dryer. Or so the copy says.

"Hear, walk, talk", 1959
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All you want

Ironically, the following piece is an advertisement for toothpaste, not tobacco products.

It invites the reader to smoke all they want, with the understanding that any stains in your teeth will be wiped off by using the product. And you will also get a fresh and minty breath.

"All you want", 1949
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Tooth decay and the importance of brushing after meals only get a passing mention at the bottom of the copy, with the wording "It's mainly up to you". Nice.

No joke to be bald

Losing your hair is not funny - particularly when the before treatment and after treatment pictures do not belong to the same individual. 

These two blokes could be close family, but they are definitely not the same person.

"No joke to be bald", 1930
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The next piece is a fascinating reminder that technology and vanity were cuddly to each other seventy years ago. Just like today.

Instead of the laser powered light of the 21st Century, back then you had alternating pressure and vaccum treatment. WTF?

You could even get a treatment at the barber's for your balding head. Ironic.

"X-ER-VAC", 1937
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Plug and play

This is a fantastic piece from 1949 - television sets were fairly new back then and the consumerist boom of the 1950's was about to get in full swing.

But prices were still very high.

The smallest set on this ad is $229.95; back then it was 10% of the yearly average wage, or 25% of the average price of a brand new car. So buying a television set is an investment.

How do you sell it?

Make it easy to use. No aerial (antenna) - they all use the Philco Electronic Built-In Aerial System!

Just "Plug and Play". What a wonderful expression: it sold televisions back then, and it's still selling computers and operating systems right now.

"Just plug in and play", 1949
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Not a single one

You gotta love those people in the tobacco advertising industry. The claims on behalf of their products are almost legendary.

Take this one for instance. Not a single case of throat irritation. No sir. Not one. The specialists could not find *one single case* among all the people they examined.

Which, according to the ad, was in the order of 2470 weekly throat examinations. Wow.

How many doctors did they have on payroll?

"Not a single case", 1949
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An amazing vision indeed

This page is not an advertisement as such, but editorial content from 1927 and it predicts fairly accurately the world of the future. I mean, today.

Of course, there's a great deal of retro-future involved in this article. Like our perennial favourite, "flying cars" - but there's also plenty of references to real, current technologies: synthetic fibers, atomic power and even, portable music and voice-mail systems.

"Amazing vision", 1927
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No effort at all

"Waistline reducer", 1924
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Some ads are way ahead of their time.

Take this Automatic Waistline Reducer for instance. It could be the main star of a late-night TV advertorial hosted by a lesser-known, evil-twin of a reality-show débutante.

The same empty promises and dubious facts that grace your LCD-screen TV were already there in 1924: Rid yourself of the paunch. Check. Flabby flesh will vanish. Check. Absolutely automatic. Check.

There's no mention at all about keeping a good diet and doing exercise. The Waistline Reducer works almost by magic.

Think about it the next time you do some late-night TV shopping. It's all magic.

Handsome fighting men

This post is a rarity - a page of a WWII-vintage magazine with *two* mad ads in it; about handsome fighting men.

The piece on the left, "A mighty good friend to have around", exhorts the little known fact that gargling with this mouthwash twice a day is as good as... wait !

Why is that guy smiling like that for? A friend indeed in a great adventure?

"WWII magazine", 1945
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The piece on the right is no less camp. The last image on the bottom is pure gold, with G.I. Joe driving his jeep thorough the battlefields of Europe, and complaining about his parched, cracked lips.

Now you know: vanity wins wars.

Black meets White

Long before Michael Jackson did the racially wrong change -or was it a skin disease?- from black to not-quite-white, there was plenty of ads like this one,

"Skin tone cream", 1959
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A quick check on Wikipedia for the Miracle-Action ingredient, Hydroquinone, reveals the sombre reality -products containing it have been banned for several years as potential carcinogens. 


Now you know. Fifty years too late.


Still today in some places, like India, it is socially ok to bleach your skin with hydroquinone. Even if you get cancer later.

The post-war future (I)

I love the late 1940's - lots of post-war optimism and a general feel-good sensation, thanks to all those incredible scientific advances.

Like radar.

"Moving roadmap", 1945
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Many years had to pass until a map was actually shown off the instrument panel, thou. But the intention was good, and ads like this one are pure retro-future.

Spring is in the air

Another lovely anachronism from the golden era of tobacco advertisement.


A refreshing air-conditioned cigarette. And all the weasel-words are there, along with the self-aggrandising and dubious claims, and the empty comparisons.

"Tastes delicious", 1960
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But it cannot be THAT delicious. C'mon, it doesn't taste like chicken!

In Russia, train rides you

What is the message of this ad?

"Newest Russian discovery", 1959
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Self-deprecating irony? Red-scare mongering?

If the copy of the ad reads their railroads are better funded and more extensive than ours, then the masthead is definitely misleading - talk about Cold War politics.

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" Samuel Johnson, 18th century.