In natural colour

Frequency Modulation for radio broadcasting had been delayed by the onset of World War Two; since all manufacturers were fully committed to the U.S. military, there were no civilian radio sets available.

Shortly before the end of hostilities, radio brands start advertising the new technology and this contrived ad sums it up.

"Carmen Miranda's voice in natural color..." - confusing? you bet!

"Carmen Miranda", 1945
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Portable communicator

Motorola these days is associated with cellular phones and funky tablets; but they have a long history at building gadgets: they invented car radios in the 1930's and they also invented the earliest personal communication devices: the hand-held "Handie-Talkie", during World War 2.

Heavy and clumsy looking, but this makes for a really exciting collectable.

"Handie talkie", 1945
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The shadow touch

It doesn't exactly say what the shadow touch might be, other than a marketing ploy, but it's thanks to advertisements like this one that we know what the past was like.

Almost terrifying!

"Shadow touch", 1956
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Only men need apply

This recruitment ad is both chauvinistic and borderline camp, even though it encourages readers to join the Army to feel like real men.

"Feel like a man", 1963
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Be a patriot

Another Cold War example of how to stir those patriotic feelings: see what the bad guys are doing, and then come and see us try to do it better.

"Russian Expo", 1967
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Be sociable

Once upon a time, cola drinks were respectable drinks for adults -this was way before the obesity epidemic started in America.

The message is that it's fine for "hipsters" to drink Pepsi. Be one of them.

"The Sociables", 1960
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First in the Service

Using war to sell your products has worked very well for tobacco products.

Very politically incorrect in this day and age, but cigarettes were issued by governments all around the world in the daily combat rations for soldiers up until the early 1960's.

"Walk a mile", 1944
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Afro chart

Back in the early 1970's, the "afro" hairstyle was all the rage for trendy African-American males, proudly displaying was they thought was their own cultural heritage.

Choose your own stlye with this lovely wall chart.

"Afro chart", 1972
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Short? Just lie

"A girl likes to look UP to her man..." - what a load of rubbish.

The solution for men of short stature. Lie about it and get some "Elevator Shoes".

"Elevators", 1964
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Homer Simpson is not amused

The greaseless Bobby Brown is a triangular sugary treat, cooked in an electric appliance using moulds.

It costs less to make and sells four times as fast than old-fashioned doughnuts. Easy to digest and toothsome. So the ad says.

But it ain't a doughnut. They've got the shape wrong. That's the reason after all these years, donuts are still round.

"Greaseless", 1931
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Female afflictions

A wonderful ad from the pre-"womens liberation" movement of the late '60s. The product is purported to relieve stomach acid discomfort ocurring from tension in everyday chores.

Women back then did things like "cleaning". Or "ironing". Very charming. No mention of "working in an office".

But including "punish" and "temper" has raised a few eyebrows around the editorial team - we leave you to guess the context of those ones.

"Magnesia", 1965
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Did you take a shower?

The claim that a deodorant "builds protection day after day" is pure fanciful advertising exaggeration. It only implies that the wearer of the deodorant does not shower very frequently.

Or if the wearer does sometimes shower, then certain parts of the body go without soap.

"Speed stick", 1968
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Don Draper is not amused

If you ever wanted to see Gengis Khan selling cigarettes, this is your day. This is one of the strangest advertisements I have ever seen.

What were they thinking?

"Fantastic Century", 1968
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Watch kit

1976. A digital watch was the epitome of cool and sophistication and Sinclair Radionics came along with the idea of selling them as a "do-it-yourself" kit. Way too cool.

The only problem is, the "Black Watch" was cheap, unreliable and very sensitive to static discharges. Altogether, a very forgettable piece of technology.

"The Black Watch", 1976
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Natural body brace

"Worth more than a farm" says a customer of this ancient-looking device.

Be warned that any medical breakthrough that "Replaces and supports misplaced internal organs", "brings pep" and "reduces enlarged abdomen" -all at at the same time- cannot be good for you.

"Body brace", 1917
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In color

Read carefully the copy in this ad from 1960 and ask yourself: "Who'd be so thick to order one of these?"

The ad talks about a screen that fits over you current black-and-white TV screen, and produces "...brilliant, eye-filling colors..."

And your friends will like it too - they'll get to make jokes about you and your "color TV".

"Thrilling color", 1960
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TV tennis

Thirty-five years ago, playing anything on your own TV set was all the rage, and legends were born.

We're talking about PONG, of course. Back then it was a revolutionary device, but as the following advertorial warns "...this is one of those novelties everyone will shortly get tired of..."

Yeah. Right. 35 years later, the video game industry is bigger than Hollywood, and one of those original little consoles is worth a small fortune.

I wish I had one.

"TV tennis", 1976
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Meat? Really?

If there was ever a sillier name for a trade organisation, the "America Meat Institute" -sponsor of this ad- takes the cake.

Also silly is the claim that luncheon meat is goodness in a can... 12 hearty, tasty ounces of it.

The reality is that packed meat is actually high in salt and cholesterol, it is manufactured from the unsaleable bits and bobs that nobody wants to eat, and is considered an emergency erzats for when you can't actually eat real meat.

"Meat", 1947
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Huge dog

The ad department in charge of this ad was not thinking clearly when they came up with the idea.

Considering the size of a real Scottish Terrier, the baseball bat must be three or four inches long. Which makes the kid a dwarf. Or at least a midget.

"Champion", 1950
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Wigs of the times

If you were not blessed with massive amounts of hair, the only solution for an afro hairstyle was by wearing a wig, like those for sale in this ad.

The one in the middle of the page with two projecting domes is particularly funny. People would stop you and call you "Mickey".

"A wig you can dig", 1972
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Drive and dine

Fathers who take their families once a week for dinner are "the greatest guys in the world". They get to spend the beautiful Spring days together, and Dad can let Mother "off the kitchen duty once a week".

Charming. Truly vintage 1950's sexism.

Not surprisingly, the ad itself is sponsored by General Foods International -a conglomerate- and the National Restaurant Association. Talk about propping up the market!

"Drive and dine", 1956
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Trailer trash

For a brief period in the 1950's, trailers were an almost acceptable lifestyle - advertised with enticing words about "no long-term debt" and "trailer parks are beautifully landscaped".

A world away from the trailer park of the 21st century, with squalid living, declining self-esteem, meth-labs and violence.

"The Mobile Home", 1959
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Pot-watching?

A kitchen range so intelligent that "it cooks meals while you are away".

Consumerism bull-hype overstating the simple fact that it only has timers to turn it on and off. That's all. Electric cooking is NOT automatic: you still have to keep an eye on your kitchen.

"Electric cooking", 1959
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Glow in the dark bottle

A small ad for the legendary bottle of "glow in the dark paint".

Guessing at the malevolent chemical responsible for the glow - the words "latest scientific discovery" point at a weak radium solution. But it could be a white phosphorus compound.

Radioactive or poisonous - back in 1931 those were minor details when selling a product.

"Luminous paint", 1931
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Greatest Self-Defense Offer Ever

The concept of this ad is pretty much illegal today- learn self-defense techniques and break the bones of your enemies using the "Guerrilla Defense" they call it. The line art says it all.

"You might be a lightweight but you can overpower the biggest bully" - a very risky claim if you have no previous real-life physical training. You might not get out of that one in one piece.

"Like twigs", 1943
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Not a man around

Before Feminism, big corporations were still playing with gender stereotypes in the mid-sixties.

A helpless woman cannot change a tyre or look for help. So you should buy the tyres that include the "SafetySpare"; they are almost as good as having a man around.

"Stranded, helpless", 1964
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Summer romance

A full-page ad from the mid 1930s in cartoon format - the manufacturers are keen to remind the reader that girls don't date guys with body odour.

Nothing shady or un-politically-correct with this ad; just very nice art-deco charm.

"Summer romance", 1935
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Radium, anyone?

"Radium Rays", 1923
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Using the "potency of radium" to eradicate facial birthmarks would qualify as one of the most dangerous uses of radioactivity. More so complicated by the fact that -back in 1923- nobody really knew much about the links between radiological contamination and malignant cancers.

This newsclip hurts just by looking at it.

The puff chart

Cigarette manufacturers have claimed ridiculous statements, but nothing like the "puff chart" - that shows you that you are "always ahead". According to this piece, the product is better because it "makes the smoke travel further and makes it mild".

Amazing. And it guards against throat-scratch too!

"Always ahead", 1949
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Electric health

"Electric Health", 1924
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A bigger version of the "Violet Ray machine", the "Elco Health Generator" has the added benefits of ozone generation and "mechanical vibration".

It claims to be useful to cure conditions so severe as "Deafness", "Pain" and "Obesity" - now, how it works to help restore hearing or to help lose weight, is not explained in the ad and the reader has to get the free booklet to find out more about this miraculous machine.

Electronic Miracle

"Electronic Brain", 1964
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The "complete working mechanical equivalent of an electronic brain" is not even electronic. It's a mechanical device and it does not use electricity. This ad walks the fine grey line between legit and scam.

The outrageous blurb about "problem-solving of missile countdown and satellite reentry" is just that. Blurb.

It is highly improbable that a $4.98 mechanical calculator made out of styrene plastic is a Turing Complete computer...or electronic brain.

Play the Xylorimba

That's right - the "Deagan Xylorimba" is possibly the easiest musical instrument to learn. Ever. And it's also loads of fun within your reach!

"Xylorimba", 1931
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No teacher necessary -you can teach yourself, even if you can't read a single note of sheet music. And the ad even says that you can make lots of money playing at dances and weddings - sixty dollars a week was six times the average weekly wage - a really big incentive in the midst of the Great Depression.

But unfortunately, this ad has all the trademarks of a scam.

Portable Radio

A marvel of gadgetry in 1940; a portable two-way radio. According to this piece "it can be worn under a coat"

Lucky for us, the 5-pound beast and its unsightly harness was soon rendered obsolete by all the gadgetry invented during the Second World War. Like the walkie-talkie.

"Portable radio", 1940
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You think you're a gadget freak? (3)

A long time ago, there was a machine called a "mimeograph duplicator"; it worked by copying a typed stencil onto sheets of paper, by means of a rotating drum -much like a printing press. 

For many years they were used everywhere, and even tests in some schools were printed using these machines -in a peculiar purple ink. But photocopiers quickly took the market over in the 1970's, and they are now just a memory.

"Duplicator", 1937
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This wonderful substance

For the best part of the 20th century, asbestos was regarded as an almost "mythical" friend of Industrialisation - fireproof and waterproof, asbestos could be spun into cloth, or compressed into tiles, bricks and whatever else you could think of.

As the ad says "this wonderful substance brings safety..." - until the late 20th century - when asbestos was found to cause a very deadly, very painful form of lung cancer. Ouch.

"Asbestos", 1917

The Nature of your Enemy

During the Cold War, America was bent on portraying the Eastern Bloc as a grim, mysterious anti-hero that would forever destroy the American Way of Life. It was the duty of every American citizen to fight, despise or otherwise take a stand against it.

Here's a leading magazine offering a book about the dangers of Communism  -including the techniques and goals of "the world's Number One Communist", Nikita Khrushchev -the Soviet Premier of the time.

Should be entertaining reading today, when the Soviet Union is no more and the U.S. is on the brink of implosion.

"Communism", 1962

The old maxim stands firm: in the editorial world, fear sells.